Igniting the Thought Spiral

Have you ever had one little thing unravel everything that has been holding you together lately? This week mine was not being able to find a certain top before going out to a work dinner. I’m living out of bags and suitcases, and I knew the top I was looking for was clean and in one of the two bags I was looking through and I couldn’t find it. I started tearing through every article of clothing creating mounds of carnage around me. In my mind, I needed that specific top, and I still hadn’t found it after igniting a laundry explosion all over the room.

At that point, my thoughts began to spiral. It’s like those moments when you catch yourself biting someone’s head off only to calm down and realize your frustration had nothing to do with that person. The thoughts that started to make me feel overwhelmed and anxious had been simmering under the surface and since they weren’t “that important right now” I just carried on. Normally, it’s because I feel like I’m too busy to unpack those thoughts and feelings, but I know part of my annoyance this time was because I’ve been sick. Doesn’t being sick just make you feel more irritable? Your defenses and tolerance are just lower overall.

Anyway, I ended up not going to dinner because I knew my being late and not in the best headspace wasn't going to be enjoyable for me even though I had been looking forward to the event. I started organizing the clothes so it would be easier to find certain items in the future and the next day I was able to organically tell someone what had been on my mind.

Sometimes we need to stop, take a breath and not worry about what's supposed to be happening. Once you're in a calmer state, you can start figuring out something productive to do that is going to make you feel better in that moment (for me it was organizing). Then you can take a look at the other thoughts that came up. You can write them down to help better decipher and prioritize or talk your thoughts through with someone. Let them know if you just want them to listen or to help come up with a game plan to move forward with less stress.